jamboree fail + impromtu hangout

this sunday mom woke me up with some of the best words she could ever say to me on a sunday morning:

"you don't have to go to church if you don't want to..."

ALLELUIA!!! she said this because there was nothing major happening besides the reading of the by-laws at 9 (whatever that means) and jamboree at 2 pm. now i actually wanted to see the jamboree since other church choirs were going to be there, so i decided that i would follow behind her and be at church for morning service. so i got up, got ready, and got out in good enough time so that i could stop by stockyard coffee house before service. i even found a close enough parking spot to the cafe but it was smack dab in the middle of a neighborhood so damn near all the street parking was saying shit like "anyone without permit will be towed". now, anyone with a lick of common sense would just be like im not gonna be in there too long plus who is finna be giving out tickets at 10 am on a sunday morning and just go in and get their latte. i sadly haven't gained a strong enough resistance to my worrywart thoughts so i left the cafe and drove around for like 5 more minutes trying to find some legal parking. i got a pistachio latte with strawberry cold foam (i was gonna their matcha cause they advertise it so much but i didn't have it in me to risk disappointment). i got to church at 10:45.

after service ended early, as usual these days, i asked mom if i could skip the banquet and do some window shopping in pilsen. to my surprise she said yes. (before leaving, i texted cheyenne on tiktok and insta to ask if she was free rn cause we were gonna be planning a hangout for the next weekend anyway.) i mostly wanted to go because i'd been wanting to go back to the overpriced vintage store i got my gorgeous beige midi skirt from. i had forgotten the name but luckily i had saved the store in my apple maps faves. sadly, everything had nothing for me :( after that i walked in and out of a few stores (all duds) right before heading back to my car i stopped inside a store called counterfit and they had such a nice selection. one thing about some vintage stores is that their inventory will very much be pulling from the 80s which obviously isn't a problem but it's not my style. this store had so much 2000's stuff in it, i was tired and uninspired so didn't get nothing but i'll def be back. 

as i was driving to a teahouse a bit north of pilsen, (very much running behind schedule, idk what i was thinking) cheyenne called me and said that she was free. for some reason i hadn't thought to text her on imessage 😭 luckily i was in the UIC area so it only took a few minutes for me to get to her. after picking her up we stopped at the baba's across from the church (cause i was dying of hunger) then got to the jamboree at 3:30. i would've felt bad about missing so much but we aint miss nothing fr. the other church choirs bailed and aint even have the courtesy to let us know they wasn't coming. 

anyway, after that cheyenne and i went up to wicker park and did some more shopping. (she was a big help when i was trying to eat my philly cheesesteak and drive) and OMG this weekend the olio shop was open!! the way i couldn't contain my excitement at all cheyenne was so confused about why i was so hype. i hate that i just didn't have enough inspriation/energy to shop how i wanted to, i saw so many nice pieces but just wasn't feeling anything. after that we walked some more and the chicago vintage market's store also happened to be open (pictured below). again, so many nice pieces but didn't feel much. i ended up buying a green and blue floral midi skirt for $5. i tried my hardest to find sumn for cheyenne but she wasn't giving me anything to work with. 

after that we went to that one korean resturant that serves korean corndogs cause cheyenne hadn't tried one before. i ordered the ramen and brown sugar boba. that boba was shit so i exchanged it for a scrumptious strawberry smoothie and the ramen was shit too but not shit enough for me to ask for a refund. 

then i dropped cheyenne off at home and almost made it all the way back without my phone dying but mom just had to call as i was getting off the express way.

cookbook club success! + aliyah's performance

y'know i hate to say it but mom was right, cooking only one dish for the cookbook club does remove a lot of stress of my back. that + learning the eb and flow of how to run library events have led to this past CBC being much less tiring. i still went to bed late but making the znoud el sit wasn't too difficult too prep. i finished frying them in the morning which was also simpler than i thought it was going to be. my only note for next time is to actually slice the dough the right way so the strips won't be too long. 

i wasn't expecting much for this month's CBC, only one person had signed up and i feared the "difficulty" of the cuisine would've...i don't even know "ruin" the experience?? anyway i had nothing to worry about because the woman who signed up, vernice, actually came! she brought the lentil soup and some sliced up pita bread. she helped me move the table over and was patient when i told her that mom was running a bit late. once mom got there we dug in and went around the table explaining how we made our dishes. ted also came in towards the end and ate with us. he seemed to really like it, the food and the concept of the club. kennedy also came in and asked me about how the club works. i can't even describe how happy i felt watching mom and vernice talk about the food and the process of getting the ingredients. afterwards, a woman who i saw looking at us from the doorway asked me about the club and looked through the cookbook for may. 

after work, mom and i went to a bar in the city to watch aliyah perform with a band. mom was kinda apprehensive about going after i told her that aliyah hadn't personally invited me and that i just decided to go after seeing her post about the performance on her story. when we got there we got great seats, a table just a few feet away from the stage. although we came for aliyah, the trombone player was the main star of the night. they were a lil jewish girl in a polka dot, twister-esque outfit and a lotta attitude. the compositions were really nice. aliyah says that although they aren't a set band they do play together a lot. mom and i left a $10 tip for the performers before leaving. before going home we went to jeni's ice cream and i got a pint of there gooey butter cake flavor. 

dj battle + sewing journey + errands

i started my morning having my ears shaken awake by a cacophony of SoundCloud beats. prairie had their "beatmaker battle" at 9:30 am in the barnes & noble theater and although i did enjoy myself, it was a major sausage fest (like damn yall couldn't find ONE girl dj to invite). i probably wouldn't have gone if it weren't for my music appreciation teacher pushing us to go as it was happening during our class period. in the theater, i sat next to one of my classmates, the gay-looking, anime loving lightskin that i also sit next to during music appreciation, and her other lightskin kinda bisexual guy friend. they were funny and queer so i'd like to hang with them again (except the guy had made an odd comment about one of the DJ's dread mullet). i said my goodbyes and left the battle early to go to my english class. i spoke with dr. washington about my argumentative essay and she really helped me get a grasp on what it was missing. 

at 1:30 i had an interview at thornton library for their children's and teen's programming coordinator position. i wore my navy blue, knit j. crew sweater and my grey slacks. the thorton library is really small, their staff after hiring will be 3 people, but it's cozy and i like the vibe. the interview went well, i made the interviewer chuckle a bit and i think she liked my answers. another candidate for the postion came into the library in the middle of my interview and she was damn near my carbon copy (lightskin, tall, prescription glasses, masked). after that i went home changed into something more fitting for the warm weather and went back out to run some errands.

 first i went to the ali baba market to pick up the bulk of the things i needed to make my znoud el sit recipe. the man in there lovesss assuming im in there for the dubai chocolate. i also picked up a premade kunafa that i can pop in the oven. during the car ride i listened to a new podcast called "witch and monk", its hosts are two spiritual leftists one a latino man and the other a black girl. they only got two episodes out rn but i'm fucking with their vibe. i went to meijer to get the whole milk, sourdough and pistachios. i didn't get the pistachios since they're just a topping and i didn't feel like spending that much on nuts i don't even like but i did get two olipops that were on sale for $1.99. afterwards i went to joanne's to see if their closing sales were any better that the last time i went. i got 3 yards of a maroon jersey knit fabric for my bday dress and a beige linen fabric for a maxi skirt. then on the way back i got boba with the tip money i got from jan (fema lady) and filled up my gas. 

study date w/ geselle

sunday (4/13)

after multiple reschedulings, geselle and i were finally able to arrange a cafe study date. i picked her up and took her to ixxa (we listened to my janet self-titled cd otw). when we got there it was unsurprisingly, busy but luckily most people were doing to go orders so there was an empty table available. i got the banana brulee latte with a ham & cheese croissant and geselle got a cold brew with an almond croissant. i worked on my english essay (that is giving me major imposter syndrome) and geselle just spent the time building her notion. before leaving we got drinks for the road, geselle got one of their special teas and i got a matcha (since they discontinued their earl gray matcha 😔) after that we went to the beauty supply to get hair for the marley twists i'm getting. it was geselle's first time inside a beauty supply and she looked like a kid in a candy store. once we got the right hair, we wove through the wig aisles calling out which ones looked like the blonde-brunette pink pantheress has. 

something has...changed within calumet

well it happened. the ball has dropped and i have now become ms. v's new target of ire. today while i was covering the tech desk for terry, some guys came in about a study room they'd booked. i sent them over but it turns out terry had double booked the room. while i was figuring out what to do, a woman and a kid (unrelated) had walked up to the tech desk and were patiently waiting for assistance. at the same time ms. v comes over (for some reason idk she was holding papers) and tries to strongarm(?) the situation. sadly i don't exactly remember what she'd asked because i was busy and didn't care but i know she'd said something along the lines of "do you have this under control?" and i said yes. truly i did, i'd dealt with busier tech days. then she disappears i guess idk i wasn't paying her any attention and i helped the kid with some headphones and the woman with some scanning. once that was done i went back over to the guys who were still standing by tech to apologize again about the double booking but then ms. v and that horrible wig interrupted. she pointed to me and asked some random question (again i forget the exact phrasing) then pointed to the guy and asked what he needed. with the stance she had i could tell she thought she was about to strong arm the situation and "handle" it in ways i couldn't. luckily im not 14 anymore and was able to take back control of the conversation and explain to the men that the room wouldn't be available until later. 

then a bit later she comes over and asks for some copies of this months sign up sheets (idk what for, didn't ask). she leaves then comes back with a sign up sheet for the card game thing they had going on in the cafe and says declared that it was now a adult services event again. [BACKSTORY: when i first got to calumet "card party" was an event on the calendar and one we took attendance of but amanda, past librarian, got there after me and quit, deemed it #notourproblem and had it removed from the calendar] i didn't going back and forth with her so i said sure whatever and put it in the book.

this incident by itself seemed innocuous. i thought i was just being paranoid but after talking with anthony i've been hit with a sense of clarity. when i told them she was acting as if she didn't think i could do my job they said "she's not acting or feeling, she DOES believe you are incapable of doing your job" and i was like OH. apparently she used to do this with aliyah too. andddd she had been talking shit about me behind my back and thinks i don't do shit cause i stay at my desk all day. i don't blame anthony for not telling me idk what i would've done if they did. they're really laying it on thick with the indiana benefits now, im currently filling out an application for a branch clerk position. (fingers crossed)

in brighter news: i went to jerusalem sweets in tinley park after work and mom really enjoyed everything.

ava's birthday + another farewell + CD collection + cecred

sunday (3/30)

this sunday mom was too tired to get out of bed so we didn't go to church! 🎊🎉 for her birthday ava decided she wanted to go to the sugar factory (because she lacks taste). before heading over to grandma's to scoop her and bridgette up, we got her a card, balloons and $100 out the bank. we got to grandma's, sang happy birthday, then waited at a gas station for ava's friend, ariel, to join us. we went to the river north location and it was just as....aged as i remember. if the overpriced entrees and desserts weren't enough to put me off, the sad attempts of holding onto the remnants of it's hey-day. like it's not 2014 anymore take them damn photos down. my $22 milkshake was good tho. mom pissed me off tho when she tried to shade ariel after she ordered an expensive drink talking bout "it's not her birthday" in this half-assed whisper as if she's the one paying for it. later we went down to miniso so i could buy plushies for ava and her friend. luckily by the time mom commented on me buying one for ariel, she was already out the car. 

saturday (4/5)

after mom left for the church, ava and i went up to blue island to check out studious cafe. i found out about the place after leaving from the bowling alley we always go to for our family reunion meetings. it was a really nice vibe but despite it's name it wasn't the best place for studying; the seats weren't very ergonomic. besides that everything was great. i had a nice iced london fog and ava got a cold coffee. in hindsight i definitely should've ordered for her and gotten her a latte since i'm sure that's what she actually wanted. she stayed quiet for most of the time and when she started bothering me and i bought her a cookie to placate her. after that we walked around the blue island downtown area and went into some vintage shops. sadly i didn't find anything but ava got some $1 bracelets. 

later in the day, i met up with anthony at olive garden to celebrate they're last day at calumet. i told them about my history of car fuck ups and anthony says i'm one of the funniest people they've ever met. i tried the eggplant parmigiana and was throughly satisfied. after we went to barnes & noble and i got my first cookbook!! i got Newt by that asian guy on tiktok who makes corny cooking vids. i'm gonna use it for next month's CBC. 

sunday (4/6)

during sunday school, we went over out parts for the easter bullshit. then ms. marge came in and asked us to brainstorm some ideas for youth day or else we'd being doing the sneaker ball. useless nigga #1 and #2(yemi and ameyah) acted as if they couldn't come up with shit so we're sticking with the middle school dance concept until further notice. after church i asked mom to take me over to hyde park records. i ended up finding a janet cd ($6) and TWO mariah carey albums for 99 cents!!

we went over to auntie darlene's house and i finally started my first book of 2025: A Master of Djinn. im really liking it so far, not too hard to follow and reading fantasy based off something that's not olden europe is always a treat

monday (4/7)

this morning steph, geselle, and i went out to ulta to get first dibs at cecred hair care. (before that i dropped my essay draft off at prairie) when we got there we were gobsmacked at the hair drops being sold out when they had just gotten the shipment yesterday. i got the deep conditioner and moisture locking lotion. i opted for the redken shampoo and conditioner since i've heard really good things about it. when i got to the cash register, i expressed my shock about the hair drops to the cashier and she told me that they hadn't gotten it in yet but that i should check back tomorrow or the day after. so best believe i'll be there. we then went to the new motea location to eat and both got spicy tonkotsu ramen. it was just as good as i remember. i decided to go for something different and got the strawberry-taro drink but when i got it i realized that the worker had put it in as just plain taro so i went and got it fixed. they let me keep the wrong one so i let steph have it and she loved the custard pudding. after we went to the sip, steph would've just gone by herself later but they were closing at 1:00 due to construction. i got a blueberry muffin. when i got home i left my ulta haul  and leftovers in the car so that mom wouldn't ask questions about how i managed to go to class and shop. (i used my sofi account to purchase everything)

i was in work all of 10 minutes before someone pissed me off. ms. v for some godforsaken reason keeps getting on my ass about being up at circulation. apparently ms. rita told her that it'd be my new permanent spot. this makes no sense for two reason, #1 why would she want me at circ permanently when i'm the last person in the adult services and #2 why the hell am i hearing this from ms. v??? for some reason rita has been giving me orders thru ms. v for like the past month and it's starting piss me and ms v off (she takes questioning her as disrespect, typical older black woman shit)

when i got home i was elated to find out that my online ulta order had been delivered. i've decided to start getting into bodycare and hydrating my skin. i just got two items tony bravo recommended in her body care routine, a body oil and naturium body butter. i also finally got the exfoliating mediheal peel pads, praying that those will be able to get rid of these damn bumps on my skin. then at like 11 pm i saw the cutest ballet sneaker type shoes on depop and got into a little bit of an offer war with the seller. i ended up settling for her $55 offer and after taxes and other bs it came out to $70. i know i should regret impulsively buying a pair of skechers in the dead of night but they're literally the exact type of shoe i've been searching for. not a sneaker, not a sandal but something in between + they're brown leather sooooo..... 

my latest dyke daydream is kimani and valerie actress au where they star in a highly anticipated bdsm romcom movie. it is extremely well received.

march cookbook club + ade visit + overpriced smoothie bowl

this past friday i hosted the cookbook club at the library. this month we cooked out of dessert person by claire saffitz and i got a total of 5 sign ups. sadly nobody who signed up ended up showing but ava, mom, and cheyenne came (she aint bring nothing), and two regular patrons joined us and said they'd for sure be signing up next month. since the spread was mostly desserts i opted for tea instead of the usual soda punch bowl, it was a hit so i may consider bringing it back for this month. speaking of, for the month of april we'll be cooking out of a palestian cookbook. originally i chose Falastin a cookbook i found in the stacks but upon my author research i found out that 2/3 of the authors are zionists soooo....i decided to change it to Bethlehem and have placed a hold for it. after work cheyenne and i decided to go out for dinner (since she failed to bring me my much needed 7 brew banana bread latte). my body was in no shape to head anywhere besides home but alas i found myself sitting across from cheyenne in kui korean bbq. we skipped the bbq and just ordered the pre-prepared entrees. i tried jjamppong for the first time and it was really nice. idk why i continuously do this to myself but for some cosmic reason beyond my control i ordered tteokbokki. it's not horrible but i never enjoy as much as i know i should. cheyenne just ordered some chicken lo mein and complained about the chicken to lo mein ratio. after that we got boba, went into fresh mart and chatted in the car -- my back ached the entire time.

saturday

ade visited for the week and auntie darlene held a little party at her place to celebrate. it was a small, basic get together. i brought cheyenne along since mom had invited her during the cookbook club. most of my time there was spent with cheyenne, scrolling through tiktok fyps and barely holding myself back from talking about arcane, and playing beer (water) pong. ade also asked if cheyenne was my girlfriend

monday

missing those 12 hours when tiktok was banned and i was on the verge of getting my life together. i barely got out of bed this morning. waking up on time isn't even a problem for me it's having the willpower to pull myself out of the sheets. i skipped my music class to go try a $14 acai bowl from some place in homewood -- it was aight. i'm currently working on an argumentative essay in my english class which should be the easiest thing ever as it's about the current rise of conservatism in women's online circles but my adhd is getting the best of me. i know i'll make it through though. i'm doing better this time around so i can't let this momentum go to waste. i planned on getting some research for it done today at work but khalil radish face ass decided not to show up so i was stuck at welcome all day. but  then rita decided wanted me at circ for training or whatever. i pulled out my mac to write this blog entry but then rita materialized behind my shoulder and told me that i wasn't supposed to be doing that at work. so now i'm writing it now (4/1), at the circ desk while she's not here. she had me put a cart full of books away and that was more time consuming and exhausting then i thought it was gonna be. i've started taking miralax daily, it's not hard since it doesn't taste like hell anymore but now my farts are radioact

caitvi is still plaguing my mind.