new hair + farewell to a real one

today was a lesson for me. i don't think i've ever been so stretched thin in my life. from this morning to tonight as i type this i have just been on go. 

yesterday at 8 am, i went over to grandma's house to get my hair done by bridgette. i was supposed to be there at 7:30 but traffic and my horrible sense of direction got me there late. anyway we get started almost immediately and bridgette takes like almost no breaks. despite her endurance and concerning lack of regard for her rumbling stomach we end up finishing my hair at 2:40 am. so i end up sleeping over. once i wake at 7, i get some final touches done and leave out. on my way to the expressway i remember that my gas light is on and decide to stop at quiktrip before heading home. once home mom asks me to get some orange juice to help her current ailment. since i was already planning on doing a bit of shopping before work i say yes but i go upstairs to rest a bit before i go. and by a bit i really mean that because i was lateral for about 15 minutes before realizing if i don't head out now i'm gonna risk being late to work. so i peel myself out of bed, get my work clothes on, and head to walmart. i get chai, snacks, syrups for my drinks, and a meat tenderizer for my CBC recipe. walmart didn't have the size bonnet i needed so i went to the kali beauty supply nearby. afterwards i went home, fixed myself an oat milk mocha latte with the chocolate sauce i just got and headed to work.

at work it was same old, same old honestly. anthony was at adult services all day so we had some nice convos. it's so nice having queer friends i can talk about personal stuff with. anthony and i's conversations would definitely qualify as a HR violation 😭😭 we also talked a bit about this ravenous fate and how i'm unfortunately not vibing with it. i'd been really looking forward to the book as i've been following the author since they announced the premise back in 2022. anthony helped me find the words to describe my disappointment with the pacing and lack of suspense. sadly, they had forgotten about the farewell dinner we planned for aliyah and had made plans with their mom to cook after work. tony texted their mom (i think?) and confirmed that they'd be able to come after all but once 6 rolled around they texted that they weren't feeling well. so it ended up just being aliyah and i. (aiyana was supposed to come but she just went ghost, i think she might have a problem just saying no to people) 

i was lowkey worried that it was gonna be awkward with just us to but we ended up have a really nice time! we went to asian kitchen in hammond and aliyah really liked her food. we talked about kdramas, cinephiles, our romantic lives and her resignation. she showed me her strong worded letter of resignation and i was proud of her but really sad at the same time. it's just so disheartening how something that's supposed to be the center of the community, a neutral and accessible space where people can come for peace of mind has just been turned into an extra arm for the mayor's political goals. luckily anthony has decided to stick around since deanne will be leaving soon but i worry if that'll be enough. anyways in better news, i asked aliyah if she knew her full schedule for her bar performances and said i'd love to come to one for my birthday (since it's on a weekend). she said that we could go to dorothy's (a lesbian bar in the city, one that she has a residency at) even if she isn't performing that night. i had to hide my excitement a bit not to creep her out but the thought of being able to go to a lesbian bar for my 20th literally made me want to jump out of my seat. i;m so fucking hype bro. rn my bday gameplan is go to dorothy's with aliyah and anthony and then go to dinner with them plus steph, geselle, ameyah, my'el, cheyenne, and osariemen. i'll need to ask all of them to make sure they're available that weekend

after i got back from dinner, the vietnamese coffee that i ordered ran straight through me and allowed to take the diabolical shit i've been needing. then i went downstairs to prep for cooking tomorrow morning for the CBC. this month we're cooking out of the "my everyday lagos" cookbook and i'm making beef suya and fried plantain. mom has decided to make a bean dish that i can't remember the name of right now. 

so yeah i've had a pretty rough 48 hours but i made it. to make this flow smoother next month, i'm thinking of moving my no work day to thursday instead of wednesday so that i can dedicate thursday to cooking/baking.

jazz fest + desperate times

this past friday, i volunteered at prairie state's jazz fest. idk really know why i decided to volunteer. my music appreciation teacher had just been practically begging people to sign up to volunteer so i was just like "eh why not? i like jazz". when i got there, i couldn't find my teacher so i just skipped ahead in line and found 2 other people around my age that were collecting people's tickets. i didn't really know what else to do so i just joined them. we just stood there taking and ripping people's tickets. i tried my best to exercise my extrovert muscle and talk to the other volunteers but they were giving me nothing to work with. i tried asking them about themselves but they would just not continue the convo so i just gave up. about an hour and half into our standing, i recognized one of the people at the ticket counter as one of the workers at the glenwood-lynwood library. he and his friend were taking a while so i had to time to think of what i was gonna say before he came over. i was nervous about whether or not he was gonna recognize me but turns out i had nothing to worry about because he recognized me too even with a mask on and low lighting. we said hey and i thanked him for helping me land a library job. i was lowkey on a roll that night with my dialogue choices. 

on saturday, cheyenne came over to rewatch arcane S2 with me. well, i'm rewatching it, she was barely watching during her first viewing. when we got to the infamous breakup episode cheyenne just did not gaf about the hit😭😭 her and ivie had the same reaction. they just did not care at all about what cait did which is so hilarious. i told cheyenne i was shocked cause of how horrible caitlyn's reputation became after this episode and she was just like "vi shoulda got out the way" lmao

recently i decided to expand my reach with the cookbook club. i first decided to download an app called "lex". it's basically an event finding app but specifically for queers. i posted about the CBC but it didn't get that much traction. i then turned to the chicago suburbs reddit and my post did get about 50 upvotes but no one actually came in and signed up :/ so in my desperation i decided for a more direct approach and downloaded a dating app called "HER". it's a lesbian dating app but the description on the app store said that it could also be used to "build community" so y'know why not give it a shot. i made an account, set up my preference as just friends, and began swiping. i've gotten a few matches and recruited some people but none of them have actually came in to sign up. i'm still holding out hope though. on the bright side, a grandma-granddaughter duo came in on friday and both chose a recipe so i've got somebody at least 😭

niggas is dropping like flies

so today i got the worst news of my damn life. i asked aliyah if she was still gonna pick a recipe to make for this month's cookbook club and she tells me that she may not be here for it since she's putting in her two-weeks' notice😭😭 i knew this was coming eventually, she told anthony and i at chili's that she had gotten a grant to finish her album, but i didn't think it would be so soon. anthony has also been talking about leaving for a food service job. (speaking of food, i tried banh mi for the first time. 7/10, a bit dry and the bread was really hard and crumbly)

okay scratch that i just got the worst news of my life just now when i asked anthony if they heard about aliyah putting in her two weeks' notice and this mf goes "yeah me too"???????????? i'm genuinely so heart broken rn. it really sucks that the managment here is doo doo garbage because my coworkers have really grown on me. we need to plan a lil goodbye dinner before they're gone